Rockport Man Claims To Have Discovered A 'Secret' Spot That 14,000 Other People Already Know About.

ROCKPORT, MA—Local resident Kevin Dwyer, 37, made waves in the Rockport community this week after announcing that he had stumbled upon a “completely undiscovered, truly hidden gem” in town—a claim that was quickly refuted by thousands of others who had already been there, photographed it extensively, and rated it four stars on TripAdvisor.

“This is my spot. No one knows about it,” said Dwyer with the unshakable confidence of a man who had apparently never opened Instagram. “It’s this incredible little tucked-away place, kind of hard to find. You have to take this tiny side path off the main road, and once you’re there, it’s just you and nature. Totally untouched by tourists.”

Dwyer’s revelation was met with polite silence from a crowd of locals who had heard this exact speech before—most recently from a woman last week, who had “discovered” the same spot after seeing a drone video of it on YouTube.

According to sources, Dwyer’s so-called secret oasis features “an incredible view of the ocean,” “a perfect rock for sitting and contemplating life,” and “zero cellphone service,” all of which would be impressive if it weren’t for the 412 identical photos of the location that can be found with a single Google search.

“It’s adorable that he thinks he’s the first to find it,” said longtime Rockport resident Barbara Ellis, 62, while scrolling through an old Facebook post where she had documented taking her dog to the same spot in 2009. “Bless his heart.”

Secret spot allegedly discovered by Dwyer

Further investigation into Dwyer’s claim revealed that not only is the location well-known, but it is also prominently featured in multiple travel guides, has its own hashtag, and is listed as the #4 Best Sunset Spot in Rockport according to a blog written by a couple who road-tripped through Massachusetts in a restored Volkswagen bus named Fern.

Despite overwhelming evidence, Dwyer remains steadfast in his belief that he alone has unlocked the town’s best-kept secret. “Look, sure, a few people might have accidentally stumbled on it, but I’m talking about truly experiencing it. You have to go at just the right time, when the light hits the water in this magical way—like, nobody else is doing that.”

Dwyer’s friends and family report that he is currently toying with the idea of making his “hidden gem” an exclusive recommendation, but only for the right kind of traveler. “I might tell a few people who really appreciate the authentic Rockport experience,” he said, while standing next to a small wooden sign pointing directly to the spot in question.

At press time, Dwyer was overheard asking a stranger if they “had ever even been here before,” moments before they revealed that they had gotten engaged at that very location five years ago, after reading about it in a Boston Globe article titled ‘Rockport’s 10 Best Hidden Gems’.